A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”
A guy named Andrew had a Starbucks Gold card (which gets you a free drink of your choice after you buy 12) and a single goal: to beat the previous world record for the most expensive Starbucks drink ever.
As anyone who has accomplished anything in life will tell you, thorough prep is key to achieving your goals. With 128-ounce glass in hand, Andrew stepped into Starbucks and enlisted the help of his friendly local Starbucks baristas.
Thus, the legend of the Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino was born. Total cost: $54.75. But for Gold-card holding Andrew, it was free.
And guess what? They’re changing the whole damn policy now. Instead of one free drink of choice, you’ll have a $4 off coupon. So, good job, asshole. You ruined it for everyone.
the pro-life movement can be summed up by the fact that one of my friends who’s pregnant was taking the bus home from downtown when all the people from the March for Life were also leaving and she asked a young girl sitting in the priority seating if she could sit down because she’s pregnant and the girl replied, “well I’m really tired, i was at the march all day.”
Are you fucking joking
how can we believe the dates written on historical documents when the other day i wrote january 2010 on one of my papers
"For every laugh, there should be a tear." - Walt Disney
What do teens like?!? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?
this post is 20x funnier if you imagine a CEO shouting it at his board of directors
Ah you’re watching Silence of the Lambs? I love that film. The way they just [clenches fist] silence all those lambs